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Reader Post | By Ki.2.0
Ki.2.0 news, again scooping the controlled international establishment media giants….
Russian Cosmonautess Confirms Brand New S----l Response Syndrome
On Tuesday, in Moscow, Russian female space cosmonaut, Capt. Gigantia Smirnovputin, announced at a press conference she definitely tends toward a new type of s----l response never before seen on Earth.
Scientists at the Moscow Conservatory of Apparent Exhibitory S----l Response (MOCAPEXSR) responded that the cosmonautess does not have Outer Orbital Passage Authorization to discuss the alleged unprecedented humanoid s----l response data points.
Smirnovputin indicated she is irrevocably sexually focused — and even breathlessly — on stars and planets, and to some extent, asteroids.
“Yes, I can confirm I have had multiple orgasms with inner system planetoids, and some outer ones too. The asteroid belt has also been pretty good for me, but it’s a little scattered for my tastes.”
Russia Overall TV (ROTV) initially reported the story, but later removed all online links to it, stating a tiny meteor had knocked out their main communications satellite over Siberia.
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Smirnovputin believes her direct s----l response impulses to planetary bodies are now natural and irreversible, and that she may very well be the precursor of a new human collective experiential pleasure paradigm.
“Oh, yah, when I was on the space craft, I was sooo jazzed by certain stars out there,” she said. “They were just, I don’t know — oh my god! How could it be? They showed up, and I just knew they were stars.”
“I was like, where did you come from! They just said, ‘We’ll light you up, Gigantia.’ I was like, what?—are you kidding?”
Smirnovputin confirmed that having love affairs with multiple stars or planets, alternately, is not intrinsically a problem for the galaxy we’re in.
“The universe is pretty free wheeling,” she said. “But how could I tell Moscow the truth about it? They would never believe me. I just wait ’til everyone is a little more ready for some fun.”
[Article translated from Russian by Ki.2.0news staff]
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