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(Reader: Ki.2.0) Russian Cosmonautess Confirms Brand New Sexual Response Syndrome

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Reader Post | By Ki.2.0

Ki.2.0 news, again scooping the controlled international establishment media giants….

Russian Cosmonautess Confirms Brand New Sexual Response Syndrome

On Tuesday, in Moscow, Russian female space cosmonaut, Capt. Gigantia Smirnovputin, announced at a press conference she definitely tends toward a new type of sexual response never before seen on Earth.

Scientists at the Moscow Conservatory of Apparent Exhibitory Sexual Response (MOCAPEXSR) responded that the cosmonautess does not have Outer Orbital Passage Authorization to discuss the alleged unprecedented humanoid sexual response data points.

Smirnovputin indicated she is irrevocably sexually focused — and even breathlessly — on stars and planets, and to some extent, asteroids. 

“Yes, I can confirm I have had multiple orgasms with inner system planetoids, and some outer ones too.  The asteroid belt has also been pretty good for me, but it’s a little scattered for my tastes.”

Russia Overall TV (ROTV) initially reported the story, but later removed all online links to it, stating a tiny meteor had knocked out their main communications satellite over Siberia.

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Smirnovputin believes her direct sexual response impulses to planetary bodies are now natural and irreversible, and that she may very well be the precursor of a new human collective experiential pleasure paradigm.

“Oh, yah, when I was on the space craft, I was sooo jazzed by certain stars out there,” she said.  “They were just, I don’t know — oh my god!  How could it be?  They showed up, and I just knew they were stars.”

“I was like, where did you come from!  They just said, ‘We’ll light you up, Gigantia.’  I was like, what?—are you kidding?”

Smirnovputin confirmed that having love affairs with multiple stars or planets, alternately, is not intrinsically a problem for the galaxy we’re in.

“The universe is pretty free wheeling,” she said.  “But how could I tell Moscow the truth about it?  They would never believe me.  I just wait ’til everyone is a little more ready for some fun.” 

[Article translated from Russian by Ki.2.0news staff]

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