Operation Disclosure | By James O’Brien, Contributing Writer
Submitted on May 20, 2022
The pocket calculator didn’t hit the market until 1972. A USB-C charger today has more computing power than the best of NASA’s computers in the 1960’s. Your smartphone is literally millions of times more powerful than the Apollo 11 guidance computers.
But never mind all that.
In the magical 1960’s, despite lagging way behind the Soviet space program, NASA sent a whole slew of these comically low-tech space mobiles on a 238,000 mile fully-manned mission to the Moon (and then back!) despite having less than 1% of the required fuel necessary to make that ludicrously long of a flight, all the while traversing the extraordinarily dangerous vacuum of space, what with the radiation, meteorites, and insane temperatures that would boil you alive or flash freeze you in an instant– where you not magically protected by the gear of the NASA space suits, the fabrication of which NASA farmed out to a bra manufacturer (Platex). You read that correctly. Bra-companies were super high tech in the 60’s. Even though the pocket calculator hadn’t been released yet. That was still several years away.
Yep, it was good to be in the magical 60’s, back when you could MacGyver your way to the Moon and back, in a ship that Ed Wood would have laughed at, all while a highly controversial and unpopular Vietnam War was raging, which dang it, if that war didn’t need some sort of timely feel-good story to distract from all the senseless bloodshed in South East Asia. Too bad there wasn’t one.
Oh, hey, wait! That’s right. We went to the Moon. A buncha times. With stunningly perfect execution. In the below displayed patchwork mix-and-match tinfoil and VHF antenna space mobiles. With the computing power of less than a pocket calculator on board. And that’s not an exaggeration. They went over half a million miles through the incomparable complexity of space in a craft with the navigational computing power of less than a frickin’ pocket calculator.
And they did it all while joking around, cool-as-hell-astronaut-style, in an unbelievably tiny lunar module that looks like it was made from the scraps of a failed art class project. Y’know, the Apollo 17 went almost 1.5 million miles, so they say. On one tank of gas. We need that magical 60’s technology back now! Especially that fuel mileage. FJB.
Also, one other thing. NASA lost all of the original footage from the Moon trips. You read that right. Good old NASA “misplaced” all 700 cartons of the original recordings and have no idea what became of them, so now there is nothing whatsoever to observe regarding that very special time in the 1960’s, when impossibly historic things could be done, and then all of the actual footage mysteriously disappear forever afterwards.
And so then also they never went back. No one ever went back. From anywhere. In fact, since those heady days of yesteryear no space program from any country has gone more than 400 miles into the Earth’s outer atmosphere. Today’s space programs must really suck compared to those 60’s astro-studs. Those guys could do anything. They could probably fly a Pinto to the Moon.
But really, why bother going back, anyway? When you’ve travelled almost 1.5 million miles in one go around way back in the day, when your computing power was just slightly above the abacus, what would be the point of continuing beyond today’s 400 miles, now that you have billions more times the computing power?
Supposedly (and officially) NASA got these trashy Ed Wood-ian space go-carts there and back with men on board 50 plus years ago, and then never got within 238,500 miles of their previous best, despite the entire world competing for space dominance. The Russians, one would imagine, just gave up when they saw the USA got a craft that looked like was pastiched out of cardboard, tinfoil, some horns, and an antenna, on a round trip jaunt to Mr. Moon, all without breaking a sweat. Except that one time in that Tom Hanks movie. But even that worked out in the end. Space was easy as crap in the 60’s.
Also, I gotta mention that the Moon Show wasn’t direct-broadcast live. The NASA equipment was incompatible with TV technology, so the Networks simply filmed a small black-and-white TV with the taped footage on it and broadcast that to the People. Nice! This is starting to seem more and more believable.
How long will NASA (or any other space program) have to NOT send men or women back to the Moon before it starts to get a teensy bit suspicious that they did it all so casually way back when on just 1960’s low-tech hutzpah? Does 100 years have to go by before it all looks a tad bit hinky?
I love USA history as much as anyone, but it’s looking like the NASA Moon story really is the adult equivalent of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, as Dave McGowan states.
Maybe they did go to the Moon, if it is even a place that can be ‘gotten to’ – but if they did so, it wasn’t with the technology they displayed. The very notion that they did it as they proclaimed is beyond ludicrous. Think of the fuel requirements, the oxygen needed, the vast array of equipment, from sanitation to navigation, to heating and cooling systems, to God knows what else you need to navigate a million plus mile journey, in some cases, through absurdly inhospitable radiated space terrain, which they accomplished in this tiny, flimsy hunk of space origami smaller than a Winnebago. All according to their own models, of course, not necessarily the actual reality of what’s out there in space itself.
Where the hell did they even put everything? And how the hell were they so chilled out when they were 238,000 miles from Earth, on a desolate surface that could shift 500 degrees in an instant, as they bounced around near their Ed-Wood-mobile, with micro-meteorites that could rip through their bodies at any moment, knowing also that they had to rocket this crazy looking piece of shit back off the Moon and out of its orbit (which is powerful enough to create our tides some quarter million miles away) and then dock it with a Command Module traveling around the Moon at a mere 4,000 mph. But yeah, they did that perfectly every time. On basically untested equipment, since how could you really test it until you did so in real time space conditions? With, once again, less computing power than a pocket calculator.
Can you smell the bullshit yet? Do you still believe in NASA Claus?
So, then, yeah, they did all that like they said they did and then they lost all the footage and never did it again. Cool!
And also, they never took any photos of the stars, though those stars would have been more brilliant than anything even remotely resembling what we see here on Earth. Nah, why bother? It’s just the incredible starry firmament. Who wants to see that? Let’s see some more pics of the junk mobile and the Moon’s desolate parking lot. Maybe hit a golf ball or something. Drive around in a Moon buggy.
Cut! Let’s go home now. And, yeah, once again, definitely never go back, even with infinitely more advanced technology. Been there, done that. Got the Moon T-shirt.
I know, I know. The (patently ridiculous) NASA Moon Story is a tough one to let go of. How could they lie about such a big event and then hold onto that lie for so long? How many people needed to be in on it?
How many needed to be in on 9-11? That’s another impossible-by-the-laws-of-physics situation, with an absurd cover story that most people still believe in today.
Did they go to the Moon with different technology, like a Stargate set-up, or a completely different kind of spaceship? Maybe.
The Father of the Apollo Space Program said that it would take a minimum of 3 ships the size of the Empire State Building each to make the round trip, with each ship weighing over 800,000 tons, for fuel reasons, but also for all the equipment necessary.
But yeah, no– 60’s NASA did it in a tiny paste-and-tape job and then called it a day.
Who knows what the real story is? Maybe the Moon isn’t even a celestial body that you could land on, in the manner that they showed us all on the TV set. I don’t profess to have the complete story, not by any stretch, but one thing is for sure, NASA was bullshitting the hell out of the world in the 1960’s- and the world’s first TV generation was mostly believing it. However, 1/3 of all people polled back then did not actually believe it. And today, about 1/4 of all younger generation people do not believe the story, either.
NASA, or some other space program, can dispel all of these myths, perhaps, by sending some Astronauts back to the Moon. But they could just as easily fake the whole thing with CGI. Which is kind of the beauty of the 1960’s gambit. They had to put this story over on the (now absurd) low tech capabilities of the day.
Remember, one last time, the pocket calculator had yet to be available in the marketplace! And they had no actual idea about the harshness or the difficulty of that stupendous half million mile journey through space, with all the insane and incredible calculations required to make it happen without anything going wrong or breaking or anyone dying, and yet they nailed it every time! Money, you gotta love the 60’s!
So, yeah, don’t expect a return show anytime soon. It would be way too expensive now. Money was much more plentiful in the 60’s– even with the costly war in Vietnam going on.
Too bad there wasn’t a huge distraction from that supremely unpopular war happening to cheer people up. Oh wait, there was– we went to the Moon and back a shit load of times, easy peasy!
Then managed to lose ALL OF THE ORIGINAL FOOTAGE, forever. Oopsy.
As an indie filmmaker, losing one day’s worth of dailies would be an unimaginable horror, so just imagine losing all of them, and not just the dailies of any old movie, but the supposedly most important and historic event in the entire history of the world.
NASA, you silly goose! Fire that intern.
So, yeah. I call bullshit on the Official Moon Story. Hopefully, they come up with a better one sometime soon. But I think it’s well proven that you can get the public to believe anything with some TV newscasters and some good old fashioned written words in academia and newspapers. And, to be completely honest, with this hoax in particular, I’m glad they did it!
Because it’s so freaking funny that they put the whole thing over. The other ‘conspiracies,’ like JFK, and 9-11, and the Covid-Election-Steal One-Two Punch of 2020, are so much darker, that this one is comparatively lighthearted, in that no one gets hurt, and we all get to take a trip back to that magical time in the 1960’s where, despite all the murder and mayhem and revolution going round, you could still send a mess of guys on a half million mile round trip journey to the Moon, in a scrap heap tin-foil-wrapped go-cart, and call it a hell of a good time all around!
We should do it again sometime. Seriously.
Parting the Washington Sea
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